They are all sheep here!

Here in Perth the public transportation system is in the process of converting to a new ticketing system. The old system used credit-card size paper ticket that you could buy from a merchant which gave you 10, 20, or 40 rides, depending on which one you bought. Then when you boarded a bus or train, you stick the paper ticket into the ticket machine and it would stamp it with the date and time, thus voiding one of your rides.

Now they are switching to a "smarter" system. This new system uses plastic cards with RFID chips embedded. Rather than buy paper tickets, you simple charge up your card with credit, like a calling card. You can do this through their website, or at a train station. When you board and exit a train or bus, you simply swipe your "smart" card over the scanner to debit it for your ride.

I'm not even going to go into the problems with this new system! That is for another post and has nothing to do with one. Sufficient to say, there is a new electronic ticketing system being implemented here.

Last week they announced that they are going to be switching to the new system and that people who use the trains or buses need to get the new smart card by Monday. No problem. Loretta use the train. She was confused about the new system and asked me to go with her to get a smart card and show her how to use it.

So at lunch we walked over the public transport office where they sell tickets. There was a long queue of people waiting to get their new cards. They were all holding applications that they had filled out. Loretta obligingly grabbed a blank application form and starting to fill out it while standing in line.

It took the form out of her hands and looked at it. I was shocked. It demanded to know your full name, home address, phone numbers, emails addresses, mother's maiden name, date of birth, driver's license number, bank details, etc.

The clincher was on the bottom. It was an oath and a signature line stating the "I understand and will comply with all aspects of the so-and-so transport act".

"This is total bullshit!" I told her. "Do not give them this information."

Loretta protested that they must require it. That got my blood boiling. "The do not need to know this information in order to allow you to ride a train!", I said as loud as I could. All the others in the queue starting looking at me. Loretta squirmed uncomfortably.

"Fill in your name as Micky Mouse.", I told her. "And enter a fake address and details. Are they going to cross check it?" Again, I said this as loud as I could, getting more stares from the queue.

Loretta, now clearly embarrassed by my outbursts, protested. "I have to fill it out.", she explained. "I think it is the law."

"Bullshit again!", I answered. "This is a LEGAL document they want you to sign. Why are you just going to give them all your personal information, and sign a legal document, without having a lawyer look it over? You work at a law firm. You should know better than to go around signing anything you do not understand."

I could tell that the people in the queue were getting interested. They starting looking carefully at the forms in their hands. The clerk behind the counter overheard me and gave me a dirty look.

After arguing back and forth while standing in line, Loretta ran out of time and had to get back to work. She grudgingly relented to my insistence that she not give them her information. So she gave me enough cash to buy her tickets and I continued to wait in line. I stood there and watched idiot after idiot hand the clerk their form without any protest.

When my turn came I stepped up and told the clerk "I have some questions about this new ticketing system." I handed her a blank application and pointed to it.

"Tell me.", I asked loudly. "Is this form required in order to purchase a ticket to ride a train?"

She glared at me. "No. It is not", she admitted.

"So then... what is this for?" I asked her. "What are you going to do with all this information?"

"It goes into the computer.", she told me.

"And then what?", I asked. Are you going to sell it to marketers. Are you going to have telemarketers call me on the phone numbers you are asking for?

"No.", she explained. "We are not allowed to do that. Trust me on that!"

"Trust you? You are just a clerk selling tickets. What if TransPerth changes their mind? What if someone steals all this data? How are you going to assure me that this data is safe? Will you share this information with the police?"

She glared at me. "I don't know."

"And another thing", I asked. "What is this on the bottom here where you want a signature. Isn't this form a legal document?"

"Yes.", she answered. "It is".

"And you just except people to sign it?"

"Yes. It is perfectly safe to sign."

"Are you a lawyer?", I asked her. "Do you know exactly what you are signing up for?"

"I think so", she said. "They wouldn't put it on if it was bad."

Riiiiiiight.

"So if I don't HAVE to give you this, then what is the benefit to me of giving you all this personal information then?", I asked her.

"Well...", she stumbled around. "It lets you cancel your smart card if you loose it. You can call us up and we will cancel it for you."

"So...", I finished while turning around to face the long line of people queued behind me. "We do not need to give you anything except money to buy a ticket. Right? And if we pay cash, and the card is lost, the worse case is that we might loose the remaining rides on the ticket. And I can charge up my ticket with cash at a vending machine if it runs low."

"So, wouldn't that seem a lot safer and faster for simply to pay cash rather than giving you information that might be abused and signing away legal rights? In that case, I'll buy one card with cash please."

When I left, the people standing in line just looked at me with dumb glazed look in their eyes. They continued to hand the clerk their little pieces of paper with they keys to their life on them without a second thought. What a bunch of pathetic sheep I thought to myself. They simply trust their government way too much in Australia.

Barack Obama for prez? No way

I see that junior senator Barack Obama is being shoved into running for president in 2008. That is a real shame, for a lot of reasons.

I, for one, would not vote for him simply because I do not agree with his policies on too many important subjects. I base my decision on what Obama himself has said on his podcast. His policies are simple bad for business and bad, in the long run, for the US.

It also bothers me greatly that he has allowed the presidential race to interfere with his current job, which is being a senator from Illinois. I am not from that state. But if I were, I would be ticked that Obama was running around playing presidential footsies rather than doing what he was elected to do... represent Illinois in the US Senate.

He has not even finished his first term as a senator! Most senators have long careers in the house. Not Obama. He is already off grabbing for the brass ring before the paint on his senate office sign is dry.

Now, I would also like to go on the record as saying that I find myself highly respecting Obama for his clarity on issues. It is such refreshing change from the flip-flopping and ambiguous positions that other candidates take. I subscribed to his podcast to learn more about him. I highly recommend that you do the same. I am glad I did. Because it certainly lets you make a more informed decision.

I really wish he would stick it out in the Senate. That half the of the legislative branch of the government needs people like him to balance clueless senior senators like Ted "Its A Bunch Of Tubes" Stevens (Alaska) and Liz Dole (North Carolina).

It is a shame that so many on the left are pushing Obama to run. On paper, Hillary Clinton is much more qualified. She has more experience, and has more centrist policies than Obama. But she is very divisive. You either love her, or loath her. So much so that she will never get elected.

I feel like the Democrats know that Hillary can't win. So they want to throw out an untested candidate who they can create a buzz about. It is working. Obama's backers are treating him like the second coming of Christ.

So there is my prediction. If the Democrats select either Clinton or Obama, then they are only going to guarantee a Republican victory.

Overheard at the game store

I stopped by the local video game store here in Perth during lunch the other day. It was during school holidays and the place was crawling with kids looking for new titles to play on their gaming boxes.

I was scanning through a bargain bin of Xbox games. A boy of about 10 was standing next to me also flipping through the boxes. He pulled up a copy of "Grand Theft Auto - San Andres" and excitingly showed it to his mother who was standing behind him.

"Can I get this one?" he asked her hopefully.

His mother took the game and studied the cover. She noticed the warning label, "MA15+Animated Violence, Medium Level Coarse Language".

"No you may not", she answered. "See here...", she said while pointing to the warning label. "It says language and violence."

Stumped for a minute, the boy pondered her refusal, then came up with a solution...

"I'll play it without sound then! I promise!".

Mom wasn't sold on that little idea. Clever kid though! I had to laugh.

NASA Astronaut Screening Test

Slate has gotten it's hands on the new "NASA Astronaut Screening Test". Very interesting!

Annual Neologism Content

My bud Dave sent to this me today. I love it. I think I found myself a new religion!

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:

• Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.
• Flabbergasted (adj.) :appalled over how much weight you have gained.
• Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
• Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk.
• Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent.
• Negligent (adj.): describes a cndition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
• Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
• Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavoured mouthwash.
• Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
• Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
• Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam.
• Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
• Pokemon (n.): a Rastafarian proctologist.
• Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
• Frisbeetarianism (n.): (back by popular demand). The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
• Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

• Bozone (n.) :The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Cashtration (n.) :The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
• Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
• Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
• Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
• Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
• Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
• Glibido (v.): All talk and no action.
• Dopeler Effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Arachnoleptic Fit (n.) :The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
• Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

• Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.